Just noticed that my delightfully-redundant and mythical ‘friend’ ‘Y’ has shut his site down. Maybe he reopened under “Wise ‘Y’s Words” though. I do remember him vacillating between the two titles…
Reason being, I just heard this fascinating story about a pair of Wild-West heroes, and ‘Y’d probably love to read about it. The guy can’t resist mindless repetition in language:
Anyway, as the story goes, Elliot Ness and his loyal sidekick, Lester (the molester) were going through some hard financial times. Right there I already empathize with the guys, being broke, or badly bent, myself lately.
So Lester led off:
“We penniless, Ness” said Lester,a dour look on his battle-scarred face.
“Don’t say ‘We penniless, Ness’, Les.” Ness replied. Perhaps he was in partial denial, (just like me)
Lester, though, as a true side-kick is wont to, was at his best when seeing the bright side of life. He immediately replied:
“Why cain’t I say ‘We penniless, Ness.’, Ness?”
“Oh.. mebbe on account of how come we do have a case of Guinness” Ness reminded him.
Alcohol, as we all know by know, is both the cause, and the solution, to most of Life’s Problems.
“Right you are, boss.” Lester yes-man-ed him. “Guess I got lucky when the fire broke out, knew just what to save.”
Elliot and Lester pondered, (if wild-westerners ponder?) the mysterious conflagration which had caught them un-awares in the camp just a week previously.
“You saved the Stout, buddy, gotta hand it to you… but three cases of Yuengling Beer blew up like the 4th of July while we watched helplessly.” Ness said, always seeing the half-empty cup.
“Well, I had to choose, Boss. Two minutes to decide. And although I despise beer-less-ness, Ness, I can abide Guinness-less-ness less, Ness.”
Elliot wanted to pursue the matter to the bitter end, and so he asked:
“Why did you just say you ‘abide Guineness-less-ness less, Ness,’ Les?”
Lester was flommoxed. Whatever that word means. He’d realized, even as a child, that the real Meaning of Life, (with due respect to ’42′), was Man’s ability to create sentences never before spoken, to use punctuation which even Xanga’s Editor may never have imagined to be necessary. I dearly wish I had a side-kick like Les….who quickly said:
“Nessie, when you just now asked, “Why do you say ‘I abide Guinness-less-ness less, Ness’?',Les”, I died inside. Along with several kittens. I actually considered perhaps teaming up, ok, in some future World, with some other boss. ‘Jsolberg’, fer example. He’d appreciate what I go through to spice up the dialogue.
“You actually envision a life, of, y’know, ‘Ness-less-ness’!?” Elliot was taken aback. (wherever that is)
Lester knew when to cease-fire:
“Not to worry, Ness. Drain a pint on me, and then back to the real world, y’know, bullets.”
(Hugs all around) End of story.